This weekend I turned 24! And it really got me to think and reflect over the past year. It amazing how incredibly different my life is, what I’ve survived and who I’ve become.
At this point last year I was still on leave from work, still trying to get over my breakup, and feeling like I was doing absolutely nothing with my life. I was shutting everyone that actually cared about me out, and still trying to figure out how to live at home again after being gone for so long. At that point I never thought that I would get things figured out, I didn’t know if I was going to get through everything and if I did what kind of shape I would be in when I got to the other side.
But I did survive, and while I made plenty of mistakes along the way, I became I better person because of it. I finally started rediscovering who I really am. I’m so blessed to have amazing friends who forced me to stop shutting people out. That true friends are there to help you get through tough times like this. I even had true enough friends to not only be there for me, but forgive me for awful decisions and things that I did when I was at rock bottom. I’ve discovering some self confidence and worth. I’ve realized that I deserve it. That settling isn’t even an options. That while some days it may be hard for me to see, I am a beautiful person even at my faults. And as long as I”m working on myself everyday that’s all that really matters. I’ve learned to say what I feel, and to majority of the time say fuck it to having a filter. I absolutely love how freeing that has been for me.
I’ve been back to work for close to a year now, and things are finally starting to get better there. I’m finally getting everything back to where I want it to be. I’ve also decided to create my own destiny and make sure I am doing something in my life instead of feeling that I was going nowhere before. I’m going back to school finally in January and I’m so excited to finally be getting back into it. I’m also super excited for knowing the impact I’m making on my future.
Realizing how much has truly changed I’m vowing to try to blog at least once a week over the next year. Whether it be about person things, weight loss or anything else. This is about documenting the next year for myself so when 25 comes, I’ll have something to look back on and reflect more on.
And this has definitely been one of the best birthdays I’ve had in a long time. I got to spend time with my family, and my friends that really matter to me. And as you get older to learn that, that’s all that really matters. Spending time with the people who mean the most to you!
Ah I have officially started! Last night I tried to prepare as much as I possibly could for the workout this morning. And I actually managed to force myself to get up at 5:30 to do workout 1. I absolutely hate mornings and literally usually give myself like 20 minutes to get ready in the morning, so getting up at 5:30 is a huge step for me. And I’m so glad that I did. I haven’t worked out in such a long time, it was rough, but it wasn’t so hard that I felt that I couldn’t do it, or catch up, or that I was to fat or out of shape for this. It was manageable while still being hard, which is such a great thing for over weight beginners like me! Plus it was only 30 minutes long, which let me workout and still have time to get ready for work! But in the future I’m going to try to wake up a half an hour earlier just so I have some more time, to take for myself in the morning!
I also gave up pop again starting today, and all fake sugars. I was amazed by how much energy I had, and how little I needed pop of caffeine. I had energy all day long, which I never have even when I load myself full of caffeine. I had a coffee, but really I only needed that to get rid of the caffeine headache. And I drank 4 bottles of water! I almost never drink water, so not only did I have energy, didn’t drink pop or even want one. I was drinking water! And everytime I though I was hungry I would drink water, and for the most part it would help prevent me from eating. Which helped a lot. I also went down to the 1200 calories that Jillian suggested. I was super nervous going down that low, since I never have before. But it wasn’t bad at all! I ate every four hours, and drank water in between. And I ate exactly 1200 calories. I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t feel deprived, and after eating I was actually full. It’s good to feel confident that I can do it!
Also with the first week Jillian has a jumpstart your metabolim for the first week plan. With that you can do the normal workouts and add the cardio workout as well. So after work I came home and did the cardio workout. What? Yes I did TWO workouts in one day! I don’t think that’s something I’ve ever done before, even when I was an athlete. And if I didn’t workout before work and feel the way I did because of it, I don’t know if I would have. And boy is the cardio workout hardd. It was like ten times harder then this mornings. It definitely showed me how out of shape I am and made me feel sore instantly. But I did it! I made it through the entire workout, and I know that ultimately I will get better and stronger and it’ll be easier, that it’s part of the process and that this is what I need to do to get to where I want to be. Jillian’s positive words and forcing people to dance off during some of the moves definitely made it more enjoyable.
Overall today was a total success and I can’t wait for the next 89 days and the progress I’m going to make! I hope I have this amazing energy every day for forever, it’s amazing!